Learning Chinese and other lovely skills

So living in China for almost two years, I've learned a lot of things I would not have expected to learn before coming here. Language wise, I've learned a lot of phrases because of the crazy things that have happened here. For example:

Earthquake
Tuberculosis
Appendicitis
Help!

Although "help" in Chinese is really long and if you were really dying, you'd so die before you get the entire expression out.

As of April 28th, I've learned the words for:

swine flu (zhu liu gan)
epidemic (wen yi)
flood (hong shui)
mad cow disease (feng niu bing)

Useless skills I've acquired since being here (mostly food related) that will have no purpose in the states:
-Making toast and garlic bread without an oven or toaster
-Making breadcrumbs
-Cooking entire meals using one pan
-Making ice without an ice tray
-Making pseudo-pancakes using only three ingredients
-Getting around in my place without locking myself in/out of rooms/my apt with my broken doorknobs
-Not electrocuting myself with the faulty extension cords, outlets or water heater in my bathroom
-Fixing doors and drawers myself (I never knew I was so handy)
-Making conversation with taxi drivers and shop owners without really knowing what they're talking about
-And of course, how to get around a new city without a map or English, especially in Beijing, city that I love and hate